We had a name

Lord Hall and the Mitchell Brothers, James Harding and Jonathan Munro monstered the Home Affairs Select Committee yesterday, and biffed off the charges of Chief Constable David 'Dismal' Crompton of South Yorkshire Police. Tony gave them the most serious face of a serious Jedi journalist and instructed the MPs that, as Sir Cliff Richard was a 'public' name, and 'interesting', it was in the public interest that the Harding Helicopter of Hell hover over his Sunningdale flat, especially as Sir Cliff had provocatively installed windows. This ruthless attempt at logic caused Paul Flynn MP to forget completely an interesting line of questioning about cost and intrusion. I suspect Ofcom and the Trust will be more searching. (Professor Stewart Purvis has written interestingly about loose ends).

Today, we await publication of the emails and text messages between the two parties, which could be fun. I have learned exclusively that this is not a transcript of a telephone conversation between anyone.

South Yorks Police press: Hello, hello.
BBC hack: Sir Cliff Richard ?
SYPP: Oh, that's it, is it ? Effin' brilliant. Months and months of painstaking detective work down the drain. You've no idea how many Richards there are in the phone book. Our brightest track him down, and you ring up, pretending it's out of the blue, and start pulling the whole house down. This was our biggie; this was turn round time for SYP, and you come clod-hopping in with your chinos and iPad. Well, let me tell you, sonny, if you and your so-called multimedia journalism tools breathe a word of this...
BBC hack: OK, No problem.
SYPP: OK ? No problem ? I've been threatened by some real hardfaces in the past, but that just about takes the biscuit. No problem ? I put the phone down, and Sophie starts flashing. (Off mike - Connie, turn off that racing and find the BBC). Huw's already rolling his Rs round Richard for the evening-all shows, and there'll be Summer Holiday playing out Newsnight Confidential. (It's somewhere in the high numbers near Sky. The remote's in the pie drawer). I understand your ruthless 24-hour news machine; we've been on courses here you know. Before you know it, those gonzos at World Service will have half the Algarve setting fire to their floppies up the fincas.
BBC hack: OK, I'll leave it there...
SYPP: Leave it ? Leave it ? OK, look tough guy, we'll do a deal. I'll send you an interesting post-code, and the SYPP Bumper Book of Unmarked Cars; you wait for a text and a time. Mellors has signed up for a Google Earth course, so we'll have some images by the end of the week. But I'm warning you, you go early on this, and Crompton will have you. No votes in the Sam Smith Young Journalist of The Year for you this time round.
BBC hack: Thanks, that's great. We were only told to ring up and say Cliff Richard. I didn't mean to cause you any trouble Seth.